outta here

just take it away... they can never have yesterday

i find myself at an interesting place in life.  parts of it seem similar to other times i've gone through.  yet its different.  i'm 22 years old now and starting my "real" adult life.  i've always thought of myself as a somewhat responsible and mature person.  i've been told by many that i'm mature for my age and adults seems to really like working with me and i dont drive them crazy like other people around my age.  yet, at this point in time i feel like a child.  to put it more frankly, i feel like i'm being  a little bitch and i dont know why.  i can normally get myself up and out of these lows but it seems as though i have no will to.  maybe i do crave for attention, i dont know if i do it often but i guess its now that i'm finally screaming for attention.  from who?  that i dont know.  for what reason?  i dont know either.  maybe its the transition from college life to life back at home.  i remember i struggled in college.  going from a "high school socialite" to 1 of 38,000 in college.  to those of you who were blessed with my countless phone calls every minute of the day out of my loneliness...  you remember how i was.  perhaps its like that again.  getting adjusted, meeting people, finding myself, knowing who i am, what i want and etc.  well, now i'm just rambling.  why am i such a whiny little emo bitch lately?  make it stop!  

okay, i know the answer to that.  i'm the only one who can stop it.  yes, i know.  well give me until thursday when i get paid.  retail therapy will make me feel a little better.  just dont tell my parents.  by the way, omg living at home again is soo...... WEIRD.  there are these people who like go through my mail and my bills and tell me what to do.  damn those parents!  why?  i know i'm doing the right thing by living at home and saving money.  but how i miss the privacy and freedom.  oh and.... wth.  i pay my parents rent!  that's whack!  its not a lot of money and i really should look at it as me paying them back for all the money they shelled out for college.... but damn!

on to happier things...

pasta pomodoro seems pretty chill.  i'm training at mccarthy ranch and they have a chill staff.  nothing beats my KAK crew.  fuck i miss you guys.  HB....  i miss slaving away over charcoal and meat with you guys.  we have this boy at pasta p whose training to be a server.  he left a couple of his tables unbussed.  and since he is really religious we thought it best to tell him that jesus doesn't like dirty tables.  i loved it.  i'm shocked that i didn't come up with it.  you all know how jesus and i are homies.

okay...  A.D.D.  kicking in...

nah nuh ahn nuh leh